Thursday, October 28, 2010

For Dad

I will not wait for
your approval
You see
I’m getting older
now and I’ve learned
that chemicals, unlike choices
are for keeps.
And we’re both not sure
how to address this
roadside bomb
so it sits patiently
waiting for

You were always there
in increments.
So divided.
So practiced.
Mornings haven’t been the same
without 5:00 AM and English Leather.
The familiar sound of your razor.
The slant of light
through my bedroom door.
The groaning hallway.
Your heavy hand
across my head or
the shadow of your car
moving slowly up my wall.

I want you to know that
I always wondered how it felt
to be inside your flannel armor.

I want you to know that
I am struck by your ability
to only cry visibly twice.

I want you to know that
two strokes later and I'm afraid
time gets your heart before I do.

I want you to know that
I was always your son
even after my sex betrayed you.

Copyright (c) 2010 by Vincent John Ancona

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